"And then I said, 'Girl, are you serious? That top with that skirt? Are you kidding?' and she slapped me! I mean, I was just pointing out her hideous fashion mistake and she took it the wrong way!" Chris was blabbing on and on to Alice and I about some poor girl that he had lectured about how bad her clothes were and she slapped him.
"And you know what I said? I said, 'Hey, you do not have the right to slap me! That's just uncivil and rude!' and guess what she said. She said that I was rude to her first!" Chris went on, totally unaware of Kathy, who was coming up behind him. "I'll tell you, I do not think I deserved that- KKAAGHHHH!!!"
Kathy jumped onto Chris's back, practically choking him to death. "Hi, Chris!!! How are you today?" She hollered in his ear.
"Kathy! Get off!" Chris choked out, Kathy let go of him and got off his back.
Chris straightened his hair and turned to Kathy, his hands on his hips. "Kathy, why do you think it's okay to do that? It's rude and would not be considered socially exceptable."
Kathy beamed at us and said innocently, "Well, that's what my sister, Lizzy, always does. If she sees a guy on the street or in the mall that she likes, she just goes up to him and kisses him. Just like this!"
Kathy grabbed Chris's collar and tried to kiss him, but he pulled away. As if nothing had happened, Kathy continued her theory, "So, she would kiss him and he would like it and she would say," She leaned in toward Leo, putting her hand up like she was telling a secret, "Hey, do you want to come back to my place?"
Chris wrinkled his nose in disgust and Kathy went on, "He would say yes and they would go to our house, and then....." She let her voice trail off and she held her hand to her mouth, like she was surprised.
Chris gaped at her in horror and she went on, describing a few things that I won't explain here.... This was too much for Chris. He suddenly put his hand over his mouth and ran to a nearby garbage can, hurling into it.
"Aw, crap!" I said, exasperated. I jogged over to help Chris.
Leo held up his hands in confusion, "Why is Chris throwing up?" He said stupidly.
I said, "He's very sensitive. Sensitive stomach, sensitive childish mind..."
Leo sat down on a bench, gesturing for Kathy to sit next to him, "Go on, Angel. I'm listening."
Kathy sat down next to him, continuing her story, but a little quieter.
"You know, I have five brothers and sisters." Kathy said, "Sometimes I think my little brother, Joey, is kind of nuts, but aren't we all?" How ironic. Kathy laughed and Leo tried to laugh with her.
Not sure what to do, Alice looked back and forth between us. Hmm... What to choose? My best friend barfing into a garbage can or a wacko chick telling us about her wacko chick sister? Oh, so hard to choose....
Alice ended up choosing the third option, walking away from both of us.
Well, that was interesting.